What I Learned Today was about Self-Care! Yay! Fun Subject!
I have some free time on my hands you guys. Plenty of it! I remember the time I would run to a quick manicure on my lunch break, living on a prayer that there wouldn't be anyone else waiting so I could get right in. I had a job! When you work in the corporate world you are being paid to fill your seat from nine to five. I was lucky to work for an awesome boss before my most recent remote position. Even then though, there was work to be done and my time was the company's. Now guess who my boss is? Yeah, it's me! I can already say I have no leadership ability. I will say, it has been a good realization how much mental discipline I need to develop considering I don't plan to return to the structure of a corporate job. I am already challenging myself to wake-up within an hour of my alarm, if I can do that then I will call it a win for now. Just Kidding! I don't even set an alarm anymore, unemployed remember? Unemployed and living my best life!
Really though, I have been been given the gift of time. The time we all wish we had to touch up our roots, pluck our caterpillar eyebrows or take one of these magical baths we see on snapchat stories. I have that time now!! I am "beholden" ('fancy word' inside joke at my house) to NOONE. I'm not making two dimes to rub together in this freedom but it is freedom none the less.
So what I learned today, or what I have known for a while but am finally admitting out loud is that this "self-care" movement is ALL WRONG!
Now hold on, before you decide I can't sit with you, read on.
The whole purpose of Self-care is to do something that makes you feel better Ladies! Better!
I am going to get blunt with it here, a drive through Swig and a bag of Cheetos feels good temporarily so it is disguised as effective self-care but let me explain what that is training your mind to say. "Hey I am feeling down today, my body is sluggish and my mood is bleh. The easiest fix is a soda run! Yes, okay! Problem solved!" then once the photo is posted and the likes roll in your trendy self-care practice is being noticed. You feel that momentary validation. That's it then! Consider your self cared for, right?
What about an hour down the road?
Did your body come out of the sluggishness? Did your brain fog lift and bring a smile to your face? Was true self-love felt?
I am guilty here! I may not drink soda but I way over indulge in something else, you guessed it, Netflix and Hulu and T.V. shows that are temporary feel goods. The entertainment is just that, entertainment. Once the episode is over, who is sitting right there staring you in the face? Yourself! The things that were dragging you down an hour ago are still there. James Fraser couldn't rid you of the Monday blues, could he? No judgement here, we've all tried that remedy, haven't we Lassy? (If you have no clue what I am talking about, I am referencing Outlander, a great historical romance series)
The ugly truth is this, and this is what I learned today: The harder thing to do IS THE SELF-CARE. Avoiding the best things for us because they take more effort is the opposite of self-care and self-love. Just give it some thought. I know when I am feeling in a brain fog, Hulu only clouds it more! I need to get up, get out and show my body and mind some true attention.
I have found that meditation is a damn chore! I started meditating intermittently about a year ago and it was sporadic for most of that time. Each time I went to do what all these motivational people talk about, I found myself resenting it. I was so irritable because it is not easy. It takes mental work. This whole winter I was in a funk. Working from home took its toll on me and I would have days where all I did that day was log in to my lap top. I felt the Monday blues all week. I felt alone in that until this global virus. Now that most of us have experienced what being home all day, everyday feels like there has never been a greater need for REAL, genuine Self-Care. Once I put in the time and discipline to get comfortable with myself, I enjoyed meditating and quieting my mind. I can promise anyone who hasn't tried it, meditation is not overrated. It can be very healing!
My personal practice is what my body needs, it is what my heart and soul express to me. It is different and sincere each day. I cannot tell anyone how or what their best self-care practice is but I can say this with confidence, If it makes you feel worse once the social hype is over, then you need to find what makes you feel better. Try true Self-Care and develop true Self-Love.
I believe true Self-care can be something to brag about and we should praise each other for honoring the practice but if you want to transform yourself and your perception of yourself, there has to be deeper meaning in your efforts for self-love than others seeing you do it. Find what small steps you want to take for you and replace your easy self-care with practices that will really change the way you feel and look at yourself.
I hope we all know our worth and feel deserving of the best self-care that serves our highest being.
Love and Light!